Say It Loud: I Am Not Your Exception, I Am The Rule

So many times I hear it and on occasion I have caught myself doing it as well.  But I never stopped to think about it  until today when I was watching a movie, which shall remain nameless, and the young lady was up for a big executive promotion at her job.  The company that she worked for was predominately male and she was one of the few female employees in the company and the only one that has been up for an executive position in 10 years.  As she was speaking to her mother she made a comment that pretty much slapped me dead in the face mainly because she was so honored and proud.  The young lady said to her mother,

“I am so honored because the company doesn’t usually promote women over to the executive side but my boss told me that I am the exception…”

Stop. Rewind the tape and let’s talk about this for a minute.

Why are we okay with being the exception to someone’s rule? When did it become okay for us to be another persons “but”? We hear it all the time. In the workplace, in relationships, dating and society.  It seems like we are always the exception and never the rule. How many times have you heard someone say, “…but I/you are the exception”?  How many times have you heard the “I usually don’t date (insert something here) but you are an exception” line and rolled your eyes in disgust?

Quite frankly, I feel offended when I am considered an exception.  Being an exception means that I am not good enough to compete on an even playing field with those who you do consider to be the rule.  It is insulting and degrading to say the least and if you love yourself and know your self-worth you would never accept being someone’s exception.

Now, for arguments sake, there are some situations where being the exception can have it’s advantages.  In these cases, being the exception can reflect positively on you as a person.  For example, if you grew up in a lower class family and are the first generation to graduate college and move out of the hood, you would be considered an exception.  But at the same time you being considered the exception makes those in your family who have not been able to reach your level of success society’s rule.  Would you be okay with your family being considered as the rule?  In a situation like this I would be insulted because to me that says that society did not expect me be to successful. Society expected me to stay poor, uneducated and unsuccessful in life thus meaning that because I exceeded their expectations I am now considered to be “special” and finally worthy of their attention.

This argument could go either way and while I am not asking anyone to agree with me, I am asking you to consider what I am saying.

The next time someone tries to make you an exception, you let them know that you ARE the rule.

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