This post is going to be a little different than everything I write; more personal.

The Story

It’s noon, and I’m currently sitting at the front desk for my job. While writing some documents, I look up and notice a woman stopped at the corner of our street. She’s intensively texting. I mean, bad posture and head glued to her phone. Below that phone is a baby in the most awesome stroller ever! It’s built like a little car. Cute.

Back to the woman: she’s texting for nearly sixty seconds. Initially, the baby’s just waiting, but he suddenly begins bouncing in his seat and trying to move. He’s ready to drive, but the gas isn’t working.

The iRelationship

Why is that personal for me?

The other day I was home with my wife. We were watching a comedy special with DL Hughley. Pretty funny.

At one point she picked up her laptop and I checked my email on my phone. I’m not saying that watching TV is quality time, but that was awkward. I knew we were doing something wrong, but couldn’t put my finger on it.

The next day, I was playing dominoes on my phone and my little lady walked in after a very long day. Instead of hugging her initially, I finished my online game of dominoes. She wanted a hug, so I gave her one while ending the game. When it was over, we talked about her day.

Don’t Judge Me

My wife has always been known to text while we’re out. She has to answer any of her mother’s calls because it could be an emergency. With seven siblings, she’s always checking on them or getting an update.

I’m a little different, but it’s the same story. I write a lot. A lot. I write for twenty real estate websites, Love My Black, and Animscition—my personal page. I’m also an author of two speculative fiction novels and I’m currently editing the third book in the series. If I’m not writing, I’m managing my SEO. Google my name and see how many pages you get with just me; it’s that serious.

What’s happening to my wife and me? Is our relationship suffering from iAddiction? Are we avoiding each other more because of social media and connectivity?

No. It’s always been this way. Both of us were raised during this transitional period when social interaction became social media.

Psychology of Social Media

Just the other day, I read an article that stressed how more people are beginning to ditch their physical relationships for digital ones. I could summarize it for you, but let me make it more personal.

Those that suffer from iAddiction are constantly checking their Twitter, Facebook, and email. They’re glued to an iPod, iPad, or iPhone. Your Android applications are tailored to your personality. You play games with friends in different cities, states, or rooms.

In other words, instead of searching for validation from your friends and family in your day-to-day life, you look for it online.

This article basically said that people are beginning to find a “release” by checking their statuses online. You’re actually creating a need and satisfying it.

Have you ever said:

I don’t get that many messages or wall posts.
No one emails me anything
I’m just checking my wall
Oh my friend just left me something cute

What psychologists are beginning to realize is that there as technology advances, people are developing a level of online dependency. People are beyond addicted, they’re stressed. If we don’t get the validation we need online, we go crazy. Supposedly, the next Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) will include a category for those addicted to online media. In fact, they’re relating this disease to obsessive compulsive disorder.

I’m No Exception to Social Media Addiction

Personally, I’m always checking stats on my novel. I’m looking to see where I’m ranking with other authors in my genre to determine if my book is good enough. Sure, it’s good for business, but it sucks for my life. Instead of spending time with my family, devoting spare time to prayer, or developing a connection with my wife, I’m determined to get better stats.

People are spending more time online and less time with their loved ones. If you’ve found yourself losing friends are connections recently, maybe you should reconsider your priorities.

When was the last time you called someone you loved, not just to talk over the phone or Skype, but to meet in person?
How often do you hang out without grabbing your phone and checking the time, email, or application?
What’s stopping you from getting out and exploring the world?

The Future of iAddiction

Did you know that as the number of hours we spend online increases, so is the rate of ADD and ADHD?

More children are admitting that they feel like mom and dad are home, but aren’t with them. And you know why! Parents are so involved with their online lives that they’re sacrificing their relationships with their kids.

When I read that last bit of information, I promised my wife that we’d both change. We don’t have a kid yet, but I never want any child I love to feel neglected. If you suffer from any form of iAddiction, maybe it’s time you consider a change.

It’s worthless if our society’s technology improves but the very relationships that better our souls suffer.