I Would Be Your Friend, But I’m Too Busy

By Kashif Ross on

Back in the day, people were constantly complaining about finding a mate. You could hear it everywhere you went. “There’s no good men,” echoed from the lips of women on every corner. “All these women are hoes,” was chanted in locker rooms by the guys…after they slept with the girl.

Now, there’s a new phenomenon unleashing, “The true friend.” This title is rare. People aren’t bestowed with real friends anymore. There are many reasons: 1) Hollywood society ideologies have spread worldwide–meaning too many people are fake, 2) Times are hard, so we can’t afford to hang out, and the biggest issue is, 3) No one has the time because we’re all too busy.

Let’s make something clear, I’m talking to the fellas, but this applies to women as well. In all honesty, guys struggle finding a Road Dawg or Homeboy. During the Boys in the Hood days, your ace would stick by your side. Ya’ll would sit on the porch and hit on ladies when they sauntered by, go play ball on the weekend, and likely engage in some illegal activity. There were no emotional feelings or bromance. You didn’t care if your boy didn’t come see you one weekend. And if it came down to scrapping, that fool could be in another state, but he’d magically appear by your side when needed.

That doesn’t exist anymore.

Now, finding a friend is like hollering at a female. You need to send a text, wait for a response, and see if chilling with him fits your schedule. You only do things that cost money and display your baller status, which involves but isn’t limited to: going to the club, the movies, or some “function”.

What the hell?

Are you serious?

Friendship isn’t about fitting in someone’s schedule. A true friend doesn’t wait until you’re down to support you. They hold you like a crutch all day, every day.

If you find yourself wondering, “Should I hit my boy up to see if we can kick it?” your friendship is already at a “meh” stage.

The most supportive friend doesn’t wait until you tell them what’s going on in your life. They know so much about it, they never have to ask. You two are complaining or venting about some chick that gets around, a guy that acts like a female, or life. There’s an even better friend that doesn’t care what’s going on in your life. This person knows that your situations are crap and they never inquire. This friend goes out of their way to make you feel better.

Well, that’s a concept of friendship, but with the evolution of social media, relationships are crap. People feel more grandiose than they are because they have so many followers or likes that they can’t waste time face-to-face. Everyone feels like a movie star because the last time they posted about loving their boo, they got twenty nine likes/retweets. Twenty nine!

There’s no solution for this. Fake people aren’t born, they’re bred. You never know when someone you care about may be too busy to answer your call. But if you do have someone that sticks by your side, try to let them know. But be cool about it. Men don’t express their emotions, right?

Relationships

About Kashif Ross

Kashif Ross is a California grown writer. He's obtained two degrees that most people have never heard of, a bachelor's in Social Ecology and a master's in Gerontology. Initially, he used writing as therapy to block out all of life's stressors. Overtime his hobby evolved into a passion that made his spouse a writer's widow. When he's not devoting every spare minute to his "Barcode" series, Kashif can be found jamming out on Rock Band, embarking on adventures with manga characters in his twisted mind, or outside playing hide-and-seek with the sun.