Hold The Sausage Please Male Strippers Are Not My Friend!

“If you don’t get this man and his sausage out my face we are going to have problems!”

Yes, I said and I will say it again, actually I did. I yelled it so loud that even the dog lifted his head and gave me a wide eyed side stare. I was dead serious and two seconds from performing a yank and pull on the gentleman standing in front of me.

Call me weird but I am not a fan of male strippers. I don’t like them at all. I have no idea why but I have a real problem with man meat being swung in my face by some man that I don’t know. Just the thought of pubic sweat flinging in the air makes my skin crawl.

I have only been to two male strip parties in my life and only one of those times was intentional. The first time I went with a friend of mine who just raved about this particular club that featured male strippers before 10:30. Since I had never been before I figured I’d give it a shot, I mean what could be more fun than watching handsome half naked men prance around the stage for my viewing pleasure, right? WRONG!

It was one of the worst experiences I have ever had the displeasure of having. I could not believe the amount of foolery that was taking place in this building. The men looked a mess and the women were out of control. There was one guy there who was so buff I thought if he took one too many deep breaths, that he was going to explode. To make a long story short I hauled booty out of there as soon as no one was looking and made sure that when I went back to that club I was there after 10:30.

The second time was at a friend’s house. It was her birthday and for some reason, in my mind, I thought that it was just going to be our little group of girls with some wine, cake and a few movies. I should have known something was up because these girls were way too excited for it to be just us.

When the stripper arrived I immediately began to plan my escape route. I decided on the patio door since it was closest to the table I was sitting at and the furthest away from the man meat that was swinging across the room. Just as I was about to high-tail it out of there, this extremely huge half naked and semi wet male grabbed me and through me onto the couch. He then proceeded to pelvic thrust in my face.

While all of my friends were “ooh and ahhing” I was busy running my medical history through my mind to make sure that I had received all of my shots.

Needless to say, after that night my friends learned their lesson and came to realize that if they want to have fun with a male stripper, to leave me at home.

How do you feel about male strippers?