Funny Facts About Cheating Though Cheating Isn’t Funny

By Kashif Ross on

I’m a strange little guy. Occasionally, I surf the web for random facts that will brighten my day. Today, I wanted to know about cheating. Then I realized, you need to know about it too.

Cheating is hereditary.
This one really surprised me. It seems that when daddy isn’t around or if you saw dad cheat on mom, it sticks in your blood. For all of you who assume that once a cheater, always a cheater, I’ve got news for you: That’s not fair! Cheating can be a serious disorder that needs counseling. I mean, there are so many other crappy metal diseases out there that get a pass in the court of law. Why not infidelity?

More money, more problems.
That’s right, wealth attracts sex. The more money you make, the more likely you are to be perceived as attractive—actually this comment is made by me, but think about it. If you can afford Coach, Prada, Dolce&Gabbana, or Armani, won’t you be a little bit sexier than me in my Old Navy? Just saying, if Oprah wants to take me on a date, I’d gladly tell my wife that I’m going to grab a burger with the guys.

2% of children are the product of infidelity.
So what? Two percent is nothing. Right? Let’s do the math. The current American population is 311,591,917. If we took 2% of that we’d get 231,838. That’s a lot of kids who may or may not know their real pappy.

Men are more likely to hit it and quit it. Women are more likely to have emotional affairs.
I’d comment on this, but I don’t want to sound any more sexist than I am. Let’s just say this is fact.

Cheating is not about sex.
Many people start off by forming emotional bonds with friends or coworkers. I’ve heard many women scream, “He could’ve at least cheated with someone cute.” …It seems that your ugly personality balanced it out.

Men cheat more than women.
This is true, but it isn’t because of hormones. Our society is still adjusting from the Women’s Rights Movement. It wasn’t common for women to work outside of their homes until the 1920s and they were still oppressed long after that. Not to mention there are plenty of glass ceilings for women in the workplace. Now that many of these barriers are being tackled, many women are given the same opportunities as men to leave the house and get their freak on. It’s all about availability and opportunity. Translated: It’s about ballin’ and what kinda car I swoop you up in. What you know about that 2004 Saturn Ion?

Absence of thrills and boredom is a great motivator.
A very low percentage of people, below 30%, are willing to admit their sexual desires. Add marriage with a kid and you may have the formula for a very boring sex life. What can you do to stop that from happening? Express your sexuality.

Once they cheat, it’s over.
Not necessarily. Most relationships actually continue long after. Only 19% of relationships end immediately after the infidelity. Talk it out, get your revenge, and forget about it. Well, at least until you need to use it in an argument.

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About Kashif Ross

Kashif Ross is a California grown writer. He's obtained two degrees that most people have never heard of, a bachelor's in Social Ecology and a master's in Gerontology. Initially, he used writing as therapy to block out all of life's stressors. Overtime his hobby evolved into a passion that made his spouse a writer's widow. When he's not devoting every spare minute to his "Barcode" series, Kashif can be found jamming out on Rock Band, embarking on adventures with manga characters in his twisted mind, or outside playing hide-and-seek with the sun.