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Five Ways for Conflict Management: Which One Do You Use? [Discussion]
People use about one or two of the five following ways in order to manage conflict: force, accommodating, avoiding, compromising, and collaborating.
Some either try to exert authority over a person in to agreement (force), neglect their own concerns while allowing the other party to get their way (accommodating), (avoiding) not paying attention to the conflict and walking away, (compromising) trying to find a solution to the issue partially with neither person fully satisfied, and (collaborating) which is working together to resolve the issue in which both parties are fully satisfied with the outcome.
Which one do you use?
Forcefulness does not work because people only change what they want to in themselves. Additionally, even if the controlling party’s outcome happens they will always know that the other person only did the said action because they were coerced or controlled into doing so; therefore, these acts were not honest. This is bad because it is the beginning of control which is never good in a relationship.
In accommodating arguments, one mate will just always go with what the other one wants never considering their own desires, needs, or wants. This puts too much pressure on the other person because they will always have to make important decisions alone. Also, the other party is not actively participating in the relationship and thus failure is eminent.
Conversely, avoidance is a popular conflict management tool in that the avoiding person never initiates the discussion in order to not discuss the issue for whatever reason. Oftentimes, a mate will run away from issues and/or problems altogether. Arguments ensue usually by the person who wants to talk and problems are left unresolved because nothing is being done to find a resolution.
So what do we do?
Fortunately, we have the two terms compromise and collaboration that can help our conflicts and, luckily, they are almost similar in that each part is taking an active role in the problem solving. Where the two terms differ is: in compromise both parties agree to something but give up something else, whereas, in collaboration continued decision making happens until both parties have about the same amount of energy and input in the said choices and direction of the relationship while both are completely satisfied with the desired outcome.
Teamwork is how a successful relationship works. If one party is not willing to put in the work they need to be fired. A relationship is an important job that should not be taken up if you are not serious willing to put in the effort. Be lazy by yourself.
Managing conflict is a skill that all couples must master in their relationship if they want to go the distance. Being naïve to conflicts that may arise will not only set you up for failure; it will lead to your relationship’s demise. It is all cute to be so in love in the beginning to not picture yourselves fighting, but if you plan on how to handle important issues now, the future will be a lot brighter and happier.