Do You NEED them or Want Them? You Should Know the Difference [Discussion]

By PinkNik on

Contrary to what some may believe, the two words need and want have two distinct differences especially in relationships. Let me clarify the confusion for some of you out there who are looking for a way to explain this to a friend, coworker, or lover. Either way this information is very value and can cartel many unnecessary argument and/or hurt feelings.

In our everyday relationships the words need and want get thrown around interchangeably when they should not be. The different between the two words is: choice. A need is something you must do (No Choice or No Free will), whereas, a want is a choice (Free Will) we can consciously make. How would I know the difference?

Let’s say you are starving. You then are in NEED of something to eat. You are hungry and you NEED to eat no matter what the food will be. A WANT determines the choice you make. You may choose to eat a hamburger, a biscuit, or a bag a chips. Wanting something involves you making a decision. How does this information apply to relationships?

Well, when you are getting into a relationship you should not feel sorry for telling someone you do not need them or knowing that they do not need you. These are grown adults doing adult things. Every able body adult should be able to wash their own clothes, feed themselves, and clean up after themselves. Therefore, you should be with someone who you WANT to be around because you WANT them no matter what. This is stronger because fat, small, rich or poor you choose them.

To tell if you are with some one who needs you versus wants you all you have to do is look at their reasons for the relationship. Oftentimes a person in need is dependent and insecure. They tend to pick anyone that can fill that need (loneliness, security, financial) having very low standards. What is wrong with a “needy” person is they are lacking something within themselves and tend to cling on to the other person not making their own decision or capable to do thing on their own separate from their mate.

Yes, I know. I wash my husband’s clothes, cook for him and clean up sometimes. But, there is a distinct difference in my actions; I choose to do these things. I do not do them because he is incapable himself or because I am “suppose” to do it. You would be surprised and some of you know someone who cannot do things on their own. It is much better to tell your mate that you want them. It means that you consciously made the free will decision to make that individual apart of your life.

Yes, you need food but it’s special that you want your girlfriend Tiffany’s mac and cheese. Do you see the difference? Please make sure you actually WANT the person who is in your life and not just are with them because they fill some NEED. Why? Because once the need is gone; so are they.

Relationships

About PinkNik

I am an outgoing, independent, and married mother of one. Married to my best friend that I met in the United States Army and am a veteran myself. Currently working as a contributing Relationship, Entertainment Review, and Advice columnist. Working on my Bachelor's Degree in Bussiness Administration which should be complete in 2014 from South University.