Black Women Don’t Interracially Date; “Swirling” Book and Movie Hopes To Change That

By Honest Jae on

Black women, in particular, have a hard time dating outside of the Black community while Black men have no qualms about doing so. On any given day, you may see hundreds of interracial couples walking past you however the formula is usually the same. Black man, white/non-black woman. While there are many interracial couples that include a Black woman and white/non-Black male, it is not as commonly seen as the other. For whatever reason, we as Black women tend to shy away from interracial dating rather it be preference or simply because you are afraid of what “others” may say. Often times this mindframe leaves us with the dreadful phrase that we hear all the time:

There are no good men left. All the good men are taken…FML!

The reality is, there are plenty of good men out there the problem is often times we limit ourselves and our resources by refusing to “explore” our options. I am guilty of this as well as I prefer to exclusively date Black/ethnic men, but I am not ignorant to the fact that there are other options. It is hard to believe that almost 45 years ago, interracial dating would have cost you your life but people we willing to take that risk. People died for love back then, now people would rather die alone than to have love in other places.

In light of this serious epidemic that may possibly be leading many women alone and single for the rest of their lives [/sarcasm], pop culture blogger Christelyn D. Karazin and journalist Janice Rhoshalle Littlejohn have joined forces to co-author a book that serves a “PSA/wake up call” to Black women. The book Swirling: How to Date Mate and Relate Mixing Race, Culture and Creed is a go to/how to guide on how to successfully date non-Black men [either because you have to or simply because you may want to]. The book tackles commonly known myths and breaks down stereotypes that often surround interracial dating. The book also offers a guide on how to deal with family and friends who may be disapproving of your choice to date a non-brother as well as advice from happily married and involved. The authors tell Essence Magazine about how they came up with the idea of the book.

Christelyn had this idea to write a story for Elle Magazine about why she married a White guy. It was accepted, she was making rewrites on it and I had been helping her with it. It got caught in some sort of crazy labyrinth of editorial changes over there and it never ran. She said, “I took this idea and pitched it to agents and now I’ve got someone who wants a book proposal.” But then she says, “I don’t have a book proposal, could you write it with me?’… At first I thought, well, no this is your story. It was her story about how she came to marry Michael. But, what attracted me most to the idea is that Christelyn was very open to going beyond Black women and White men but to culture and faith too, and that was something that was intriguing to me…right around the time Christelyn approached me abut the book there was study that had come out that said Black women don’t date outside of their race and culture, and when they do, they do so less than any other gender or racial group. I really was intrigued as to why.

We wanted to talk about sex. We really felt it was necessary to talk about sex in some kind of way because it’s such a big issue with Black women about White men can or can’t do, and what Asian men can’t do, or how they can or cannot satisfy the needs of a Black woman. So we wanted to go there, but Christelyn was like, “I can’t talk about that!” So, I wrote about that from my perspective.

The thing that really stood out to me is that there were so many people who really wanted to tell their stories. They were searching for a place where people were like mind and who were going through the same things. The questions I got about my relationship and the blog seemed to have a theme. Things like, “What’s it like to take your significant other home for dinner the first time?” or “What do you do if shit hits the fan?” or “How do I take my White boyfriend to a Black church?” Those were the experiences that I had in my relationship coming to terms with our cultural and racial differences. I felt like we were very thorough with this book. The other interesting thing was how many non-Black men are interested in Black women. More than [Black women] think.

Recently, the book was picked up by a West Hollywood-based production company headed by Robert Teitel and George Tillman, Jr. who along with the books co-authors will turn the interracial dating survival guide into a successful movie…hopefully.

What do you think about the book? Do you think that a book on interracial dating is really necessary?