4 Phrases That Let You Know That You Have Crossed Over To Mommyville

Before I was a mother I had a list of things that I swore that I would never do when I became a mother.  Like fussing for no reason, complaining about dirty kitchens and loud music.  But over the last few years that I have been mothering I have found that I am failing…miserably. I am so far in the mommy hole that at this point all I can do is cringe and laugh each time I find myself doing…

1.  The “No Blink Stare”

You know what the stare is.  It’s that blank look that you give your child after repeatedly telling to do something or not to do something and them failing to do so.  You find yourself just looking at them with wide eyes and a set jaw.  I don’t know what it is about that look but it seems to get the job done for the moment.  I never understood what the heck was so dang on scary about that look whenever my mom gave it to me, but now that I have a very hard-headed four year old I have come to learn that the stare is my best friend especially in public…

2. The “Didn’t I Tell You” speech through your teeth…

“Didn’t I tell you sit down and don’t move…?” (blink blink)  “Didn’t I tell you not to [insert randomness here]…” (blank stare)

I use to wonder how in the world my mother could talk to me without opening her mouth. Was it magic? No, just mommy trying to be discreet and not completely fly off the handle while holding her composure and still managing to pump that fear into my heart.

3. It’s Too Late For That

Who would have ever thought that I would think that 8pm was too late to do anything? That 10pm was way past anyone’s bedtime?

Not me for sure, but once again I found myself having this same conversation with my daughter last night as she asked me several times to go outside at 7:30.  After about the third time of her asking I shot her the “No Blink Stare” and said, “Didn’t I tell you it’s too late to be outside?”

Yes, I did that.

4. [Insert Empty Threat Here To Get Results] Speech

…even though I know good and dang on well that I am not throwing away anything in her room I still find myself yelling “If you don’t clean up this room I am going to thrown away everything!!!” at the top of my lungs each and every time I walk past my daughters room and I see Barbie’s and Disney Princess items thrown all over the room. I am sure by now my daughter knows that I am not going to actually thrown them away, which is probably why they are still laying in the middle of the floor waiting to make me curse to the high heavens when I step on them in the middle of night.

What are some things that you find yourself doing now as a parent that you swore you would never do?

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